Plentiful Pantyliners

It used to be my period came like clockwork due to the pill I was on. Now, however, I have had to switch birth control methods and my period comes when it likes and overstays its welcome like a rude houseguest. Its unpredictability has caused me to become a major player in the pantyliner market. While before I could get away with a few boxes of pantyliners a year and not give the whole pantyliner purchase much thought, now with its “imminency” due any time at all, I take the purchasing activity much more seriously.

So I sauntered down the aisle at my local drugstore and am overwhelmed at my pantyliner choices. It seems as though the pantyliners have been quietly multiplying. Now you can get ones with scent or with out, for wedgie underwares or the traditional granny underwear models. You can get them “on the go” or, I guess, the alternative would be “within 3 feet of the toilet?” Most bewildering to me though seems to be the newest addition to this market-the “body shape” pantyliner. Body shape? Well now, I ask myself, perplexed,why would I want anything else? What exactly have I been using up until now? Why are non-body shape pantyliners still on the market?

Since I decided that I definitely wanted the “body shaped” ones, after about 10 minutes, I narrowed down half of my choices. I then made the gut wrenching decision that I would take the “on the go” ones. I had a moment of being verklempt over this choice as it seems to be the non-global warming choice with its excess packaging. Each individual pantyliner is wrapped up in its own little wrapper, like a little present. Still though, if you have to carry them in your handbag (or at least mine, where small children have been known to disappear), they would get pretty nasty without that pink covering

Finally, fifteen minutes later, I emerged from the feminine care aisle victorious, the theme song from “Chariots of Fire” playing in my mind. I was a woman “on the go” once again, armed with my body shaped pantyliners, I was ready to conquer the world.