Do I Look Fat In This?

I was trying on a pair of my summer pants from last season and, desperate for an opinion, I asked my ten year old son if I looked fat in the pants? “Yes” he said without hesitation. And my reply was “oh come on, I mean really?”

Why do we ask the eternal question, “Do I look fat in this?” We ask it as if we were otherwise svelte and swimsuit model material until we put on that skirt, that dress or those pants.

If I asked myself honestly the opinion I was seeking, I guess I would have to reword the question to something more along the lines of “Does the cottage cheese on my thighs show through this? Or perhaps, “Do these Bermuda shorts look like riding pants when I wear them?”

Instead, I stick with the tried and true “Do I look fat in this?” This is the question that strikes fear in every man’s heart. It is the proverbial damned if I do damned if I don’t question for the guys. If they say yes, well, you can pretty much guess the rest. But, if they say no out of kindness, weakness or an effort to get their wives or girlfriends to step out of the way of the ballgame on TV, it will invariably come back to haunt them. They will be confronted sooner and not later with the fact that “You told me I didn’t look fat in this!” This is shortly after the realization sets in on the woman’s part that in fact she doesn’t just look fat in it, but she is fat in it.

Let’s face it, outfits aren’t like appearing on TV, they don’t “make you look fat.” They don’t add ten pounds just by putting them on. It is what it is and what it is, unfortunately, is fat.

Maybe we should turn the question around and start asking it in a more positive way. “Does this outfit successfully conceal my spare tire?” “Can you still tell I am a pear shape in this?” Or maybe we should stop buying outfits that will look great when we lose 5 pounds, even if they are on sale and looked really good on the model in the catalogue.

Until then, I am going with my new question, adapted from my days of living in the UK, combined with my legal education, “Does this suit me? A yes or no answer only please!”
When the answer is no, I will just have to accept the fact that much to my dismay I don’t suffer from a distorted body image and what I already suspected is true. I am fat in it.