Alvin and the Chip-punks

Can you make out my fury litle "friend" right along the border of my lawn in this photo?

Lately, I find myself engaged in constant patrol mode throughout my yard. Enemy number one? The chip-punks (as I like to call them) who have been wrecking my yard, my plants, and especially my lettuce, all the while squealing with delight.

My in-laws don't sympathize, they have bunnies to contend with in Rhode Island. However, I point out that at least bunnies are silent ravagers. I have to hear the constant squeals of the 'punks while I try to get work done in my office and still get fresh air. So much for a quiet street. They are noisily ravaging the work we have put in around the yard.

Just witness what they have done to the lettuce my husband planted:

Now mind you, the lettuce used to look as full and lush as the lettuce on the right side of the planter, until the day I found one of the chip-punks, derriere in the air, furiously digging up the middle of the planter, and making an awful mess in the process. I tried patching the hole, but as you can see, the damage was done.

We had strategically placed this planter of lettuce as close to the kitchen as possible not only to protect it, but to protect ourselves from having to walk very far to get it. As you know, out of sight, out of mind. Apparently, we weren't the only ones with this idea. The chip-punks had the same idea, but in reverse. They decided to build their house as close as possible to the lettuce. If you plant it, they will come.

In case there are any skeptics out there, here is a picture of the chip-punk hole showing it's close proximity to the planter, formerly full of lettuce. I was always opposed to the Iraq war and consider myself somewhat of a pacificist on foreign policy issues, but where these chip-punks are concerned, I am seriously thinking of sanctioning the use of force. I imagine what Bill Murray's Caddyshack character would do to get these guys out of here. In the meantime, I am thinking of redirecting that gutter a little to the right.