December-December

I read in Sunday’s New York Times about Melissa Morris’ blog, May-December (http://melissacmorris.blogspot.com/) which has gotten 40,000 hits. It chronicles Mrs. Morris’ high society life. As you (lone reader of exactly 1 hit) know, I have started my own blog. So I was curious to see what her blog was like and why it was so attractive. I checked it out and decided to model today’s entry after some of hers, though of course adapting it to my more mundane life. I chose to call my blog entry December-December, because alas, I don’t spend the winter in some exotic locale, rather here I stay in the wintry mix of precipitation that coats Connecticut. I also chose December-December because, after fourteen years of marriage, two kids, one dog, three houses, three rentals and five job changes between us, it is clear that this is no seasonal romance. In fact, I recently watched my wedding video with my daughter and when she asked “where was I then?” I actually thought about who might have been taking care of her since I can’t even remember my life before kids and thus temporary amnesia made me forget that she didn’t exist at that moment. But enough about little old me, and on to Mrs. Morris’ blog.

Mrs. Morris’ blog was professionally designed. Mine is done by moi, who just recently learned how to get the pictures off of the camera and onto the computer, so there is a slight difference in terms of layout and attractiveness, to say nothing of picture quality. I think it is pretty obvious that I am not related to Ansel Adams.

Mrs. Morris showcased her signet ring and discussed her family crests. The only crests in my family or my husband’s are tubes of tooth paste. So instead, I present to you what I should have been doing instead of reading about her signet rings, that would be cleaning the rings around my toilet. This is also a natural analogy because she discusses a book where you can find your family crest if your family is from Great Britain. Chances are, if your family is not descended from folks in Great Britain, that you do your own toilets, and perhaps even the toilets of others to make ends meet. Here is a view of one of the toilet rings.


















Here is a view of the toilet ring with my wedding ring:


Mrs. Morris also has pictures on her website of her wedding day. Unfortunately, I can’t oblige on that count, as we got married before digital photos existed (an ancient fourteen years ago and though there is a way to scan photos undoubtedly, that is beyond my capabilities).

She also has many pictures of her dog, Monty, enjoying ice cream at some hotel. While I don’t have any pictures of my belated dog Kramer in any hotel, as he never made the cut for family vacations due to budgetary and space constraints (unlike Mrs. Morris, we don’t have a Range Rover), we do have a picture of Kramer right after he stole some ice cream and before he got sent to solitary confinement for that stunt.


Before digital photography, we also took a picture of Kramer enjoying a “Frosty Paw” which is nondairy ice cream marketed to dogs. It was the first and last picture we had of him eating such a treat because he became viciously protective of the “Frosty Paw” and was banned for life from ever having them again.

Mrs. Morris also wrote about her and her husband’s debate about which of their two dishwashers is preferred. She chose the one in the butler pantry. She has pictures of both kinds on her website.

As it turns out, my household has two dishwashers as well.

Here is a picture of the Bosch dishwasher:


Here is a picture of the other dishwasher, me!














According to Mrs. Morris, she has no butler, only herself. Though she can dine with the likes of Senator Bill Frist, apparently, if he comes over to her house, she will be the one who ends up loading the dishwasher (no wonder she dines out!). Surprisingly, I too lack a butler. In fact, not only do I lack a butler, but I even lack a butler’s pantry. No wonder none of those butlers wanted the job when I interviewed them…