Confessions of a Candyland Cheater

The other night my sister called me to tell me they were about to play Candyland for the first time. She was on speakerphone at the time. I told her to take me off speakerphone so that her children, 4 and 6 couldn't hear the special instructions I was about to provide to her.

She complied and I launched into how to survive Candylanditis. My son, Thing 2 went through an extended acute bout of Candylanditis when he was 3 or 4 years old. Every night, just before bed, he guilted his sister, Thing 1 and I into playing the game. Sure, right, Candyland, what a cute little first game, no words, candy, etc. Why not?

I will tell you why not, because just as it is getting past the children's bedtime and you can barely keep your own head up from running around with them all day and maybe working too, and just as you think either Thing 1 or Thing 2 is about to win, they get sent back to the candy swamp, or some other place way down near the start of the whole game. At that point, rather than rationalizing with the kids that it was past their bedtime and perhaps we could continue where we left off tomorrow, and brace myself for the inevitable tears and tantrums, I did what I had to do. I cheated. When they weren't looking, I removed all of the "go back" cards. Thus, ensuring that the game would be swift and uneventful. From then on, this is how I always set up the game.

Looking back on my experience with children, this deviousness, or survivial tactic, depending on how you look at it, was born early in my childminding career. I remember when I used to babysit neighborhood kids in my teens, I particularly preferred sitting for those children who could not yet tell time. It was easy for me to send them to bed early (and even claim I had let them stay up fifteen minutes past their bedtime) because, of course they couldn't yet tell time, and would have no reason to doubt that their sweet, innocent looking babysitter might be pulling a fast one on them.

So, of course, I am paying my dues now with Thing 1 and Thing 2 who certainly have their share of ways of pulling fast ones on me. But fair is fair, and what comes around goes around, except in Candyland, where one will only go around once if I have anything to do with it.