The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Freaking, Hideous Tree

I am learning the hard way that I really need to be careful what I say around my kids. I confess it is taking me a long time though. I should have learned my lesson when my daughter was two years old and I was driving her to tumbling class. A car stopped short right in front of me, and by some miracle, I actually thought about the impact of what I was about to say on the virgin ears of my daughter. I didn’t burst out with “you stupid jerk, or worse.” I didn’t burst out with anything in fact. Imagine my surprise then, when from the backseat came “Stupid!” out of my daughter’s mouth.

Well, I did clean up my act and toned down my language about other drivers (just cleaned up really, deleting swear words from my repertoire). But it wasn’t just bad language precisely that I needed to be aware. When my son was two and a half, he started calling anything he didn’t like “hideous.” People would look at him with astonishment that such a big word could come out of a little mouth. But I looked at him with an expression of uncomfortable recognition, because of course he borrowed the word from me.

Lately, the verbal pirate is my daughter, 11 going on 22. Unfortunately the word du jour from my vocabulary which has been borrowed is “freaking” or “freakin.” I admit I use it on occasion, but not too much. As in the expression, what a freakin jerk that guy is. I never really minded the word or gave it much thought until my daughter started using it, in every sentence. Now, I do believe that freakin is the most annoying, and if I must say, hideous word. She has breathed the freakin life out of the word.

When she uses the word, I can see very clearly by her use of it, that it was meant to be a substitute for another action verb describing reproduction. What I never gave a second thought to as being objectionable, I am now reminded of on a minute by minute basis.

So, I am going to make a greater effort to choose my words wisely in front of my kids. They say kids are sponges, but in fact, I think they are actually little tape recorders that seem to play back at inappropriate times. Unlike tape recorders, unfortunately, you can’t just remove the batteries and any effort to get a child to stop using the word is merely an invitation to the child to use it twice as many times and particularly around grandparents, strangers and authority figures.

Look out for the new edited me coming soon!